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Haiku by Dogs

Haiku by Dogs

 Anonymous

I love my master;
thus, I perfume myself with
this long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
in the sunshine, happier than
you ever will be.

Today I sniffed
many dog butts – I celebrate
by kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paperboy – come to kill us all –
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man – come to kill us all –
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
whiz on each bush . Hello, Spot!
Sniff this and weep.

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
my hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
made a puddle.

I hate my choke chain.
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
on your foot – no greater bliss – well,
maybe catching rats.

Look in my eyes and
deny it. No human could
love you as much I do.

The cat is not all
bad – she fills the litter box
with Tootsie Rolls.

Dig under fence – why?
Because it’s there. Because it’s
there. Because it’s there.

I am your best friend,
now, always, and especially
when you are eating.

You may call them fleas,
but they are far more – I call
them a vocation.

My owners’ mood is
romantic – I lie near their
feet. I fart a big one.

                                                   Anonymous

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