Haiku by Dogs
Anonymous
I love my master;
thus, I perfume myself with
this long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up
in the sunshine, happier than
you ever will be.
Today I sniffed
many dog butts – I celebrate
by kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy – come to kill us all –
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man – come to kill us all –
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and
whiz on each bush . Hello, Spot!
Sniff this and weep.
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
my hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
made a puddle.
I hate my choke chain.
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin
on your foot – no greater bliss – well,
maybe catching rats.
Look in my eyes and
deny it. No human could
love you as much I do.
The cat is not all
bad – she fills the litter box
with Tootsie Rolls.
Dig under fence – why?
Because it’s there. Because it’s
there. Because it’s there.
I am your best friend,
now, always, and especially
when you are eating.
You may call them fleas,
but they are far more – I call
them a vocation.
My owners’ mood is
romantic – I lie near their
feet. I fart a big one.
Anonymous
Bridges 